Kiss My Lily White Irish Ass

=)

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 00:00:01 GMT

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two glasses of wine from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things; your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions; things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.'

The pebbles are the other things that matter l ike your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else; the small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room
for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.'

'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. Do one more run down the ski slope. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine represented.

The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of glasses of wine with a friend.

Hey Fad....did this fuck up your Dead Pool?

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 23:42:31 GMT

Heath Ledger Found Dead in New York

Police Investigating Possible Overdose; Respected Actor Was 28
Posted: 2008-01-22 18:39:00
Filed Under: Star Obituaries, Movie News

NEW YORK (Jan. 22) - Heath Ledger was found dead Tuesday at a downtown Manhattan apartment, naked in bed with sleeping pills nearby, police said. The Australian-born actor was 28.

It wasn't immediately clear if Ledger had committed suicide. He had an appointment for a massage at a residence in the tony neighborhood of SoHo, NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said. A housekeeper who went to let him know the massage therapist had arrived found him dead at 3:26 p.m.

Sun, 30 Dec 2007 02:05:49 GMT

In 2m 52s

Click here to Play

Why men are never depressed

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 22:48:53 GMT

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 00:29:34 GMT

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|	16%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Dependency	\|\|	10%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	64%
Histrionic	\|\|	10%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|	10%
Indie	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

trait snapshot:

social, outgoing, worry free, optimistic, upbeat, tough, likes large parties, makes friends easily, rarely irritated, open, enjoys leadership, trusting, dominant, thrill seeker, strong, assertive, mind over heart, confident, controlling, feels desirable, likes the spotlight, loves food, social chameleon, hard working, concerned about others

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 17:18:04 GMT

A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United
States.
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
"Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!" The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican."
The man goes on and encounters another passerby.
"Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America !" The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America !" That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East , I am not American!"
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" She says, "No, I am from Africa !"
Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
The African lady checks her watch and says..."Probably at work."

Now THESE people know how to throw a party!!!!!!

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 02:52:31 GMT

PAJAMA-RAMA-BOWL-A-RAMA SURPRISE PARTY FOR DARIAN-(not so surprise for Anthony)
Letoa & Jenn are invited! Print Invitation Details

Host: Becky Barnes
Location: (edited)
When: Saturday, November 10, 2:00PM

Yes, thats right. A PAJAMA-RAMA-BOWL-A-RAMA EXTRAVAGANZA! Some of you have already heard about it, but for those who haven't here it is. Since its Darian's BYE-week and we're stuck in Long Island I thought I'd surprise him with a little mid-season CRAZINESS. It looks like its going to be a loooong grueling season so he needs your ever-lasting love for partying to help him get through it! AND an added bonus is that it just so happens to be my brothers birthday. So anyone that claims to be Darian or Anthonys friend will be here. You like the guilt trip? Theres more where that came from.

The EXTRAVAGANZA will begin at 2pm Saturday November 10th. The idea is to drink all day and night, go bowling, sleep over, and watch football on Sunday while we get over our hangovers. I'm sending this really early so you can get off work and reschedule shit if you need to.
***ATTIRE***
*Pajamas must be worn at all times during your stay at Casa de Barnes. And I'm not talking about a T shirt and some sweats. I'm talking about REAL pajamas. Whether it be flannel, stripes, lingerie, fuzzy slippers, whatever. Basically shit that you wouldn't wear in public.
*You MUST wear a disco costume for XTREME BOWLING. You can go all out or a wig and some groovy glasses will do. There might even be a prize for the best costume. If not, you will be forced to sleep in the tent I have set up for you outside. With Chuck. Did I mention it will be cold and you won't have a blanket? And Chuck likes to cuddle...

I have plenty of space-sleeping here is NOT an option, its mandatory. I'm expecting you assholes to respond to this so I can figure out airbeds, food, drinks, and a possible mini bus to take us to the bowling alley. So please respond either way. Feel free to bring a date, a friend whoever. But know this, if you desecrate my airbeds/couches/beds/showers you will be sorry.

*There will be beer pong.
*There will be classy ass hors'dourves haha
*There will be Wii Tournaments
*There will be XTREME BOWLING
*There will be some sort of manly football game in the yard.
*Drinking games are always popular.
*Any blow up beds/sleeping bags would be much appreciated
Please bring your own pillow and blanket, but if not, I do have extra. Just let me know.

I thought bowling is a fun idea that not everyone gets to do anymore now that we're older, but if you guys think its lame answer the poll on here and we'll go from there. I was hoping everyone can contribute $10-12 and that will cover 2 games, shoes and the ride there.

*THE BEST WAY TO GET A HOLD OF ME IS EMAIL (edited) OR MYSPACE SINCE DARIAN ANSWERS MY PHONE SOMETIMES*

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 21:08:57 GMT

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older,
it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping
as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at
them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an
oversensitive woman.

My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with
my wife, Peggy. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for
Peggy to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for
extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after
she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I
usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home
from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she
has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't
yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when
she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill
at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some
home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon
as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the
table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically
reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean
themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to
motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example
she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the
monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better
or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch
it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so
much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then
wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is
one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest
periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing
the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix
herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just
sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may
as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support
Peggy. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.
Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody
knows better than I do how frustrating
women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just
use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of
this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After
all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Signed,
Jim

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Jim died suddenly on Feb 27 of a perforated rectum. The police
report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha
Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip
showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Peggy was arrested
and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to
find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Jim somehow, without
looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 17:56:02 GMT

Having way too much fun w/ Mikeah to bother w/ AOL. Have a nice day.
=)

.......no, really, she's a good mom..

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 04:44:35 GMT

XKevinMatthewsX: britt how old r your daughters again
XKevinMatthewsX: didnt you have one like hot 18yr old
SweetestSIN 8886: yup
SweetestSIN 8886: shes 18
SweetestSIN 8886: and the other one is 16
SweetestSIN 8886: and my oldest son is 23
XKevinMatthewsX: i dont wanna bang ur son
XKevinMatthewsX: thats grimey
XKevinMatthewsX: link me to the 18yr old page
SweetestSIN 8886: and my youngest son is 12
SweetestSIN 8886: ok
SweetestSIN 8886: brb
MerrittWhelchel: lol britt whoring out her kid
MerrittWhelchel: kevin: I wanna bang the 18 year old link me --- Britt: ok brb
XKevinMatthewsX: LMAO
XKevinMatthewsX: hey shut up
XKevinMatthewsX: its not like that
XKevinMatthewsX: ok, well maybe

4 Months Old

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 05:24:12 GMT

....ok

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 04:21:53 GMT

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

Personality

You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about self than concerned about others, more religious than atheist, more loner than dependent, more workaholic than lazy, more traditional than rebel, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more cynical than idealist, more leader than follower, and more extroverted than introverted.

As for specific personality traits, you are outgoing (100%), intellectual (93%), romantic (86%), religious (73%).

Stereotypes
Punk Rock	73%
White Trash	64%
Prep	62%

Life Experience
Sex	58%
Substances	43%
Travel	12%

Politics
Your political views would best be described as Libertarian, whom you agree with around 50% of the time.

Socioeconomic
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Middle Class. You make more than 88% of those who have taken this test, and 13% more than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated R.
By the way, your hottness rank is 69%, hotter than 79% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 17:49:32 GMT

http://youtube.com/watch?v=TrVNermSk_A

yeah, this made me laugh

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 02:35:43 GMT

BanginOnR0XwStix: The Simple Life season 5 : Paris converts to Islam

Tue, 29 May 2007 17:01:49 GMT

Happy Birthday, Seth....

BIRTHDAY BELIEF SYSTEMS
Idealism: Happy Birthday.
Capitalism: I shopped all day for your birthday.
Atheism: I can't believe it's your birthday.
Hinduism: Holy Cow! Is it your birthday?
Taoism: It's everybody's birthday.
Buddhism: If your birthday party was held in the forest and nobody came... would it make a sound?
Existentialism: Your birthday means nothing to me.
*Sarcasm: You don't look half bad for someone twice your age.*
^ that's the one I'd have said =)

Sat, 12 May 2007 01:33:58 GMT

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Mikeah!!!

Wed, 02 May 2007 19:36:45 GMT

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 01 May 2007 10:19:55 GMT

Happy Beltaine to all you broom jockeys!

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,
May the clarity of light be yours,
May the fluency of the ocean be yours,
May the protection of the ancestors be yours.
*~Blessed Be~*

Tue, 01 May 2007 10:17:40 GMT

Thank you, everyone for all the happy- b-day type wishes and whatnot.....my old ass appreciates it..( so does the rest of me)
Thanks!
~j~

Tue, 01 May 2007 10:15:03 GMT

What American accent do you have?
Created by Xavier on Memegen.net

Mid-Atlantic. This is what everyone calls a Philadelphia accent although it's also the accent of south Jersey, Baltimore, and Wilmington. Well, everyone that lives near there, that is. Outsiders can tell you talk differently from them even though they can't tell what your accent is.

New York City. You are most definitely from New York City. Not New Jersey, not Connecticut. If you are from Jersey then you can probably get into New York City in 10 minutes or less.

Take this quiz now - it's easy!

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 16:38:24 GMT

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 20:27:18 GMT

.......I just had a happy 4:20 on 4/20, and I hope the rest of you f'n po-theeds did too.

(=

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 04:25:27 GMT

=)

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 04:20:12 GMT

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 15:04:07 GMT

Ayo El HatesSeth [10:58 A.M.]: happy st. patrick's day you irish shanty whore :)
BanginOnR0XwStix [10:59 A.M.]: thanks, you friggin wannabe cajun shitty aiming non-hunting motherfucker!
Ayo El HatesSeth [11:00 A.M.]: *sigh*...when you say it like that, it only makes me want you more ! (stares off into space)
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:00 A.M.]: hey, I can help it if honesty is hot
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:00 A.M.]: lol
Ayo El HatesSeth [11:01 A.M.]: downright steamy if you ask me
Ayo El HatesSeth [11:01 A.M.]: has peter acknowledged that the new thing isn't just a family pet that you are housesitting for a day or 2?
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:02 A.M.]: yeah, pretty much
Ayo El HatesSeth [11:02 A.M.]: good, good
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:02 A.M.]: so, are you drinkin' yet?
Ayo El HatesSeth [11:02 A.M.]: just crawled out of bed 5 minutes ago
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:02 A.M.]: and?
Ayo El HatesSeth [11:02 A.M.]: i know, i know i'm runnin behind
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:02 A.M.]: ...
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:03 A.M.]: don't let Sean Nathan see you say that
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:04 A.M.]: (*link to*)Kiss My Lily White Irish Ass' Journal
Ayo El HatesSeth [11:05 A.M.]: oh gee thanks, now i'll have to DODGE sean nathan for the rest of this day
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:05 A.M.]: anything I can do to help, man.
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:05 A.M.]: no problem
Ayo El HatesSeth [11:05 A.M.]: (goes on invsisible)
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:05 A.M.]: well, you DO have a rainbow flinging out of your buddy icon....
Ayo El HatesSeth [11:05 A.M.]: i know, i'm just busy sending ALL the wrong signals!
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:06 A.M.]: shit, just tape a can of vaseline to your ass already.
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:06 A.M.]: ...and you call me a whore.
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:06 A.M.]: pffffffffffffft
Ayo El HatesSeth [11:06 A.M.]: my head wants to protest and say NO WAY, but my heart is saying "that's pretty much the next step, faggot"
Ayo El HatesSeth [11:06 A.M.]: so much for going with our hearts
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:07 A.M.]: what? you have a heart on?
BanginOnR0XwStix [11:07 A.M.]: you're so teh ghey!