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The Biker [19 Nov 2009|04:36pm] ladybahiya [ mood | amused ] Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. 'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.' And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline. That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.' 'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who Says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.' 'No problem,' he says. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks at her mom... 'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket... Suddenly the father shouted....'I'll do the fucking dishes!!!' You Pucker ¬ I'll Bend

Checkin' out the old shit... [18 Nov 2009|04:48pm] notbrittsgossip [ mood | nostalgic ] [ music | Bruce Springsteen -- Glory Days ] A couple of times a year, I'll read some of the old entries on my DJ as well as many other people's. Some of it is new to me, some of it is stuff from the past that is still amusing. After spending about a half-hour skimming over various DJs, I have the following random thoughts. 1. Dead Journal must have been like really really popular in 2004/2005. It seems like nearly every tom, dick and harry from Wrestling chat had one, and actually posted occasionally in it, around that time. You'll notice that alot of those fly-by-nighters usually stopped posting around the end of 2005 or VERY VERY sparingly afterwards. 2. Wow, Chy must be one of the most retarded mother-fuckers in history. Who the fuck types a ton of shit to themselves, year after year, with nobody but her even reading it? Well, I guess I read some of it today, so it hasn't been a total loss for her. At least when she was feuding with Britt or taking "Dead Journal potshots" at other people, it seemed feasible to have one. But for the last 2-plus years, it's been nothing but animal updates. And what's sad is, she was updating it with that bullshit all the way up thru this past summer LOL. Speaking of her feud with Britt.....i noticed SEVERAL posts of her saying the following: "I had Britt on ignore, but someone e-mailed me this log of what she was saying. It's too funny not to post!" .........or some such bullshit. Well, if that doesn't just scream "fake iggy"...i don't know what does. Personally, if I had someone on iggy, that must mean I don't care to read what they have to say. So if my FRIENDS knew that I had someone on iggy, I can't imagine why they'd be sending me logs of something I DON'T want to see. What a fucking retarded-ass cunt. Wonder if she managed to eat any terrorist-poisoned fruit on side of the road? 3. For a good solid stretch of time, Kat actually received the most negative attention from everyone. That's hard to imagine, with Britt still being a member of that chatroom during that time. I'll say this for her...when she left, she left for GOOD. I don't ever remember seeing her when I came back in 2006. 4. Is it just me, or did Soul become BFF with everyone she had bitter feuds with? 5. Speaking of, I wonder who had more deleted Dead Journals, her or Bill ? 6. Jenn apparently told both AOL and Dead Journal to kiss her lily white ass once she moved to North Carolina. 7. Two people that I thought could NEVER move past AOL romances/drama/etc. (John James Lilley and Britt), somehow managed to do just that. 8. Wow, I took that feud with Megling way too seriously back in the day. Oh well, it seemed fun at the time. And she hasn't been in the AFA ever since. 9. BayouQueen has apparently been around longer than I thought. She looked like a wet dog with mange, and was a smart-ass, so I'm not really upset over not getting to know her any better. 10. People treat those "quizzes" on Facebook or Myspace like they are something new and awesome and different.......little did they know people were doing them right here on good ol' DJ for YEARSSS. 11. KingDustin aka Sickboy was perfecting his craft here at DJ long before he was a main-pager at 411mania.com. I assume he's still on their main page. I haevn't been on that website in about a year, but last I saw, he was writing about UFC on there. 12. That Britt/Big Daddy Ant log that was posted on Fad and ToyFareMark's DJs still cracks me up. Britt all like "you know how i feel about you Ant" while saying "Rob is my baby" in the chatroom. Then when Ant shows her the stuff she was saying from the room, Britt's all like "how are you even getting these messages???? you aren't in here!!!" I guess she hadn't mastered the concept of pasting room text via IMs at that point. Who could blame her, though? She was in her late-20s, blonde, sexy, and career-oriented (with that real estate job she had, allowing her to stay up till 6 am and still make it to work on time). 13. The Saints are 9-0. Ok, that has nothing to do with past Dead Journal entries, but never at any point in my life have I ever been able to type that with a straight face. It bears repeating, the motha-fuckin SAINTS ARE 9-0 !!!! 14. The one person that never changed much was Deal. I'm sure if you ran into him today, he'd still talk wrestling-promo smack and point out his disdain for hackers. That's about all I got. I'm sure after I hit "submit" I'll think of 3 other things...but oh well. 2 Ass Kissers|You Pucker ¬ I'll Bend

Eve's Side of the Story... [11 Nov 2009|12:58am] ladybahiya [ mood | amused ] EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God. "It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It's these breasts You have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain." And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced". "That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was My first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away." And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes. Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. " Well, Eve, how is My favourite creation?" "Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone." God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see.... where did I put that useless Tit?" Now doesn't THAT make more sense than all that crap about the rib? Send to men with a sense of humor & women who figure this makes sense. You Pucker ¬ I'll Bend

sigh [08 Nov 2009|10:05pm] theblackroze BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!! You Pucker ¬ I'll Bend

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